Wednesday, July 30, 2014

My Understanding of the Wrongs I have Done

My Understanding of the Wrongs I have Done

 

By: Rev. Frank Paul Jones aka Apostle Paul Castellano

 

I probably did about everything at one point in my life, but always for a reason, even if I did not know why at the time of the action taken by me.  I did a lot of wrong things to a lot of people, but usually in the nature of abandonment or creating glass ceilings on people, simply because they were too close to me.

 

Take Vern Fleming he went on to become a professional basketball player in the NBA and was one of the first major success stories out of Queensbridge.  I loved the dude like a little brother, him and his twin brother Victor I favored when I was young and one of my mentors was their older brother Steven "Shorty" Wright.  Yet, I could not even get a dime from Vern during his whole career, at any moment. How do you think that made him feel?  Or even worst makes him feel now?  Think about our relationship as kids and how it turned out due to his successes.  Either I made him really hate me deep inside as child or made him mistreat me in order that he may live. Why?   Because I had to be kept down.  I had to suffer! I made him mistreat me!

 

Now think about all the friends I mentioned that never made it out of the housing projects and how they must feel today?  Oral Brannon always wanted to be a singer, my nephew Dahoud Smith did about 17 years, because he wanted to be a rapper slinging drugs for studio time, Ronald Delaney a DJ and I told you how fine Mona Rodriquez was, why she wasn't made into a Hollywood star?   She had the rights looks and the right connections?  

 

I created glass ceilings for a lot of people and made a way for a lot of people I never met.  And those I did help could not help me, even if they wanted to!  On top of that my oldest sister who was within the timeline of the prophesy fulfilled and died, she did not make it with us. Why?  I do not know all the details, but I know she is dead and it was John J. Gotti's call, while Michael J. Jackson I am not sure about and John J. Gotti, I know survived prison.  But how do I make peace within my family after that.  She must have done something really disloyal?

 

I have made men psychotic while in the military certain to get 100% service connected disability soon after and they knew something important, but would never be able to convince anyone of what they saw or know.   I did this to me to some degree, this was a wrong but for security reasons it had to be done. So it really was the right thing to do at the time.  Maybe one day we will have to readdress those who were made crazy.

 

Now NaQuila feels I spoke wrong against her and will make it harder for her in Avon Park, FL.  I am convinced she feels I did something that just doesn't make any sense to me and would therefore be an act of hatred against someone for no apparent reason.  While I feel what I said about her blessed her, she feels it was a curse upon her.

 

The way it was written, I forgave her and she was the one who anointed me. The message behind my story was that it takes a village to raise a child.  And the people who judged her when she was in need and ended up living with a me a stranger, showed no love for their neighbor or self.  Because when they judged her, they should have been trying to figure out what her problem was, that needed addressing.  Why was she crying all the time. Then the truth came out!  And we are looking in  to it.

 

She was mistreated by her own community and that was to their shame.  I believe what she said may have happened or she was made to believe these things, because it makes sense, but I had nothing to do with that.  What she said, may have been a ritual by some group of people, but I didn't plan this but must defend myself from it.  Because someone create someone who feels I wronged them for a lifetime of suffering, a claim I could never settle.  And she is allow 35 years old. This phase of my journey begun at age 30 and I am now 55 years old and is prepared for another 15 years of struggle if necessary. For this reason I am having problem understanding what she actually wants, she is too young to feel her whole life was ruined by anything.

 

See what NaQuila doesn't understand is there are lot of people involved in my life, in  one way or another.  And I am not against her in anyway. But what she is talking about, if I focus on that stuff, I am going to miss out a lot more urgent matters needing addressing immediately.

 

She thinks I am against her and do not want her to prosper, but the reality is I made deals with other people that has to be honored also and there are real people who have authority over certain areas and affairs of mine's and I gave them that authority to make these decisions I cannot make for myself.  I do not control my money yet, so everything I achieve must come from the power of persuasion and not brut force, I just talk tough sometimes because I can and its sets up a fairer negotiation.

 

Now let me tell you a fact. I was bragging about my sexual prowess and my future Queens and was starting to have a little fun in life. They Baker Acted me, as Dr. Borden said, she was afraid I might get  angry and become violent.  Then they tell me, hey you need a tetanus shot. They give me this big ass shot and I took it like a fool, now I cannot get a hard on anymore, they made me erectile dysfunctional all over again. After being normal for a couple of months for the first time in many years.  It might be a month or more before this stuff wears off.

 

Now they will call me delusional, when I say Dr. Borden was no love interest, Dr. Gonzalez was no love interest, so either Janet had me screwed up through the Secret Service or John J. Gotti through my power of attorney given him. In any case, I know one of two things, they feel I am not focusing on what I should be thinking about at this time or someone has a problem with me and NaQuila at this time. I cannot figure this out, fight for my benefits and plan for the future and focus on what she presented to me at this time.

 

So in essence she wants Rev. Frank Paul Jones, to make the decisions for Apostle Paul Castellano. I cannot makeup stuff along the way based it on what she or anyone else tells me or say, I have to follow the spirit within me, even if it seems like I am taking on losing causes.  My Marco management cannot be altered.

 

I could take that article down and I might for peace sake. I meant it as a blessing and I am sorry if she feels differently. But I cannot have confidential conversations with her, I cannot talk about. I cannot make any decisions based on anything we talk about without first checking in on it.  Because we planned this in 1989, how can I change what people are already setout to do already?  Either this is going to happen or not, but we are not changing our plans.

 

Rev. Frank Paul Jones aka Apostle Paul Castellano

 

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